Specialty
Dating & Relationship Anxiety Therapy
When connection feels like something you could lose at any moment
Dating is supposed to be at least a little fun. Instead, you may find yourself analyzing every message, replaying every date, and scanning constantly for signs that the other person is losing interest. Even in an established relationship, part of you may never fully relax. *
Relationship anxiety has a way of creating the very distance it fears. Reassurance-seeking, overthinking, and protective withdrawal can strain a connection that might otherwise have grown. And the anxiety itself is exhausting, whether or not anyone else ever sees it. *
None of this means you are bad at relationships. It usually means your nervous system learned, somewhere along the way, that closeness is not entirely safe. That learning can be updated. With therapy that works on both the anxious thoughts and the body-level alarm underneath them, dating and relationships can start to feel like something you get to enjoy. *
Signs dating & relationship anxiety may be affecting your life
- Overanalyzing texts, tone, and pauses for signs something is wrong
- Fear of rejection that makes it hard to be yourself on dates
- Needing frequent reassurance that your partner still cares
- Difficulty relaxing or feeling present with someone you like
- Replaying conversations and dates long after they end
- Anxiety spikes when a reply takes longer than expected
- Ending things preemptively so you cannot be the one who is left
- Physical tension, stomach knots, or poor sleep around relationship uncertainty
- Feeling like you are performing rather than connecting
- Worry that you will never find or keep a lasting relationship
Our approach to dating & relationship anxiety
Relationship anxiety usually is not really about the current person. It tends to trace back to earlier experiences that taught you connection could disappear or that your worth was conditional. We start by understanding your specific pattern, what triggers it, what it protects you from, and where it learned its rules. *
From there, treatment is tailored to you. EMDR can help process the earlier experiences that keep the alarm system firing, clinical hypnosis can quiet anxious loops and rehearse a calmer way of being in connection, and somatic and experiential work helps your body learn that closeness can be safe. The goal is not to manage anxiety around dating forever, but to change the underlying response so it no longer runs the show. *
Clinicians who specialize in dating & relationship anxiety
EMDR · Hypnosis · Psychodynamic
Dr. Zala specializes in anxiety that lives inside relationships, especially when it connects to fears of abandonment or old family patterns. She helps you see what your anxiety is trying to protect and then rework it at the root. *
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ACT · EMDR · Hypnosis
Dr. Faiwiszewski has particular strength in dating anxiety, including overthinking, fear of judgment, and the pressure to perform on dates. Her approach helps anxious daters settle their nervous system so genuine connection has room to happen. *
Full profile →Modalities
Therapy approaches that may help
We integrate these techniques, custom-tailored to you, in the order your nervous system can use first.
FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
- Is relationship anxiety the same as not being with the right person?
- Not necessarily. Relationship anxiety often shows up regardless of who you are with, because it is driven by an internal alarm rather than by the relationship itself. Therapy helps you tell the difference between anxiety that is a signal about the relationship and anxiety that is an old pattern firing. *
- Can therapy really help with overthinking in dating?
- Yes. Overthinking is usually a symptom of an underlying fear, often fear of rejection or abandonment. When that fear is addressed directly, through approaches like EMDR and hypnosis, the mental spinning tends to quiet down on its own. *
- What if I get anxious even in good, stable relationships?
- That is extremely common, and it is often the clearest sign the anxiety is about your history rather than your partner. Working through the experiences that taught you closeness is risky can let you finally relax into a relationship that is going well. *
- Will I have to talk about my past relationships in detail?
- Only as much as is useful. We are more interested in the patterns your past created than in rehashing every event. Some approaches, like EMDR, can process difficult experiences without extensive retelling. *
- How long does treatment usually take?
- It varies with how deep the pattern runs. Some people feel meaningful relief within a couple of months, while longstanding attachment-related anxiety may take longer. Your psychologist will discuss a realistic arc with you early on. *
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